Mar 25, 2011

Let's look at some NCAA cheerleaders...

Ahh, college. I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
.
So watching all this college basketball makes me nostalgic...For 19 year old college girls.
.
And yes, they were out of my league.
.
University of Florida~~~>
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
<~~~ Kansas University .


.
.
.
.
UNC-Chappell Hill~~~>
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And whatever this is:

Mar 23, 2011

LT: "I didn't pick her up at no playground."

After his sentencing Tuesday, Lawrence Taylor was interviewed on Fox News last night. Its pretty sad actually. But, he's a grown man and he should know that when it rains, you're going to get wet, unless you are playing with fire, in which case you get burned...Or something like that.
.
Video via ESPN.com:
.

Mar 22, 2011

Mike Tyson is now a Police Officer...

Of course a convicted rapist and drug user who bit Evander Holyfield's ears off is a Police Officer...
.
But Mike Tyson just posted this picture on Twitter with the following message: "Mike Tyson: I just joined law enforcement #100factsaboutme"
.
UmmmmKay...
.
I was a big Mike Tyson fan growing up. I think he was one hell of a boxer. I think he went completely BATSHIT NUTS for a while. But now he seems like a cool, calm, reflective guy who can even make fun of himself (See The Hangover).
.
Mr. Tyson, if you are reading this, please don't beat the shit out of me like you did to Michael Spinks back in 1988. You can keep your pigeons in my place.
.

LT is a crusader against human trafficking...

So Lawrence Taylor officially pleaded guilty to six - count them six - charges of ordering a hooker who turned out to be 16 years old. But she said she was 19!
.
The reason he was charged with misdemeanor sexual misconduct and having sex with a minor, and not the felony (go straight to jail), is because he assisted in catching and prosecuting the scumbag that pimped out a 16-year-old girl.
.
"Prosecutor Arthur Ferraro said Taylor's deal without jail time was facilitated in part because he provided information "in the field of human trafficking in several jurisdictions and with federal authorities."
.
LT is an idiot. Who can argue with that? But he was the best damn football player I ever saw or will ever see. I think LT is the best football player ever...And its not even close. He's not a criminal and shouldn't be in jail. He's just dumb as a bag of doorknobs.
.
I'd give my left arm to have Lawrence Taylor knock on my door and say: "Hi, I'm your neighbor, Lawrence Taylor, and I am legally required to notify you that I'm a registered sex offender."
.
I'd be like: "Come on in dude...Tell me what it was like to break Joe Theisman's leg in 30 places."
.

Mar 21, 2011

Target stock boy couldn't convict Barry Bonds for something we all know he did...

OK, we all know that Barry Bonds took steroids, he admittited as much. But he's on trial for whether or not he KNEW he was taking steroids at the time he took them.
.
His Perjury trial started today. If you've ever had Jury Duty, you know the drill. You fill out a form and if you aren't a NRA member, you get the interview. That's precicely why I joined the NRA.
.
This dude took a different approach. From ESPN.com:
.
No. 22 identified himself as age 35 and working at Target as an "in-stock team member."
.
"I'm a Barry Bonds fan and I'm a huge SF Giants fan. It's my life. I don't know if I could judge Mr. Bonds after providing me with so much entertainment. It's an intimate relationship," prospective juror No. 22 wrote on a questionnaire he filled out on Thursday. "I don't think I could find him guilty."
.
I can't say that I don't admire his team loyalty...

Mar 20, 2011

4th in my NCAA Pool...

As of 10:30 Sunday March 20, I am in Fourth Place in my office NCAA Pool. Notre Dame is down 11 at the half and if I lose ND, I am TOAST...
.
And the worst part of it that my Boss is currently in First. Cocksucker! But we both have Ohio St. winning it all. So, If I can carry Ohio St. Notre Dame and San Diego St. into the Final 4, I'm in good shape.
.
I already lost St. John's. I have a Championship matchup of Ohio St. vs ND. If I lose ND before the Sweet 16, my bracket done got busted. I basically need ND to win and Kansas to lose to move back into first, because EVERYBODY -including Obama - has Kansas winning it.
.
I was in Last Place in my pool on Friday morning. Then Saturday night, I moved to First Place. Now I'm in Fourth.

Girardi to Francesa: "No soup for you!"

Despite Mike telling listeners that Yankees manager Joe Girardi will be on Mike'd Up daily, that ain't gonna happen, according to Newsday. Honestly, I wouldn't want to talk to Francesa every day either.
.
But to hear Girardi tell it, he was misled: "The way it was announced is not the way it was talked about," Girardi said. "It just didn't work out the way we thought it was going to work out."
.
But Newsday reports that Girardi will continue to do Mike'd Up every Thursday, as well as his game day segment with Suzy on WCBS.
.
Newsday tops it off with this quote: "We had planned to do it every weekday all season but Joe asked to go back to our previous deal of once a week with Mike," WFAN operations manager Mark Chernoff said. "He felt it was going to be too time consuming having to do it every day...We were perfectly understanding of Joe's feelings and were OK with it going back to the old way."
.

Mar 19, 2011

Anatomy of the PERFECT sandwich...

So a friend got me this awesome Prosciutto and Fresh Mozzarella the other day...I have been planning this sandwich for two days.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I start with the bread and Sweet Red Peppers.
.
.
.
.
Then I added some turkey cold cuts. I like turkey cold cuts on pretty much everything. Sometimes I'll just eat a couple slices of turkey for the hell of it. Turkey is awesome.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Now add the Prosciutto and Fresh Mozzarella before throwing it all in the broiler. About five minutes at 500 degrees should do the job.
.
.
.
And what is pictured below is the result. Turkey, Prosciutto with melted Fresh Mozzerella on a semolina roll.
.

Mar 18, 2011

Isiah Thomas' Dad lost a bet...

So The Unversity of Washington (Washington State, not D.C. you morons), has a player named Isiah Thomas. I kinda figured it was Isiah Thomas' son...Not because I'm racist, but because I figure that Isiah Thomas' offspring would probably be pretty good at basketball.
.
But during the UDub/UGA game, somebody interviewd his Dad, who said that he named his firstborn because he lost a bet on the Lakers 27 years ago.
.
"Ummm. What? You named your kid Isiah Thomas because you lost a bet? No, really...Really? No fucking shit, you really named your kid Isiah Thomas? Don't you know that he's going to single-handedly destroy the Knicks in 15 years?"
.
If I lost a bet and had to name my kid Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith or Randall Cunningham...I'd get a vasectomy.

Oakland University is in Detroit?

Oakland University is in Detroit, Michigan? The University is probably named after the founder or some other benefactor, but I always figured Oakland University would be in, yaknow, Oakland, California.
.
But no, it's 1,500-acre (6.1 km2) campus is located in north Oakland County, Michigan. Go figure.
.
I wonder who runs the Oakland University Geography Department...? Anyway, They are playing The University of Texas in Tulsa Oklahoma. Geography class is now over.

Luis Castillo doesn't let the door hit him in the ass on his way out...

The Mets cut 2B Luis Castillo today. That's the best news I've heard in the past 12 hours...since St. John's lost.
.
He was once good, but now he's washed up. Can't hit, can't field, can't run, can't stay healthy and makes a lot of money.
.
"Castillo, 35, was in the final season of a four-year, $25 million contract. He came to the Mets via trade with the Minnesota Twins in July 2007, and saw injuries spoil much of his Mets tenure," according to the NY Daily News.
.
Looks like Dan Murphy is the new starting 2B for the New York Mets.

Mar 17, 2011

For St. Pat's: How to make green beer.

Somebody should tell her to tilt the mug to avoid the excess foam. But I'm not going to discourage a Playboy Playmate from giving Head...
.
Courtesy of SI.com's Hot Clicks.

Mar 15, 2011

Jeter is a "swinger"!

No, I don't read GQ...But Derek Jeter talking about his days as a single millionaire baseball player in New York is something I just might have to read.
.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not like I didn't go out and have fun," Jeter tells GQ.
.
Back in the day, Jeter was banging models, Miss Universes, and Mariah Carey when people actually wanted to bang Mariah Carey.
.
Unlike A-Rod, Jeter got his women before they were used up. Jeter got brand new puppies. A-Rod gets somebody's old dog.

Mar 14, 2011

Snake likes titties as much as I do...

I like titties. You like titties. This snake really likes titties.
.
Here is video of disturbingly transvestite looking Isreali model Orit Fox playing with a snake in some country where Spanish is the primary language.
.
It doesn't end well for either Ms. Fox, or the snake. Ms. Fox gets a snakebite on her left tittie and the snake died of silicon poisoning.
.
Ms. Fox was reportedly okay after a tetanus shot. And she probably needs a new breast implant.
.

Mar 11, 2011

NFL Owners set up $600mln credit facility 9 months ago today...

The NFL was WAY ahead of this labor situation and secured $4.631 billion of borrowed cash, on which to sit on, including a $596 million credit facility for 13 teams (40% of NFL teams) that was set up on June 11 2010.
.
The NFL also has "Football Trust $2.1 billion senior secured notes," rated 'A' and "NFL (G-3 Stadium Finance program) $1.1 billion senior unsecured notes," rated 'A+' and a "NFL's Participating Teams $835 million term notes" rated 'A', Outlook Stable' by NRSRO Fitch Ratings.
.
And Fitch states that NFL has five years to pay the balance of the credit facility: "Thirteen of the NFL's clubs will participate in the borrowing. The senior secured credit facility will be used by participating NFL clubs to repay existing indebtedness, including the remaining outstanding portion of the bank term loan, for general corporate purposes, and/or to provide working capital. The facility will mature in five years."
.
Single A is defined as being at the middle of the Investment-Grade credit spectrum, a relatively low default risk (although General Motors was 'A' a couple years ago).
.
Here is the entire release:
.
Fitch Rates NFL's Participating Teams $596MM Sr. Secured Credit Facility 'A'; Outlook Stable
11 Jun 2010 4:11 PM (EDT)

Fitch Ratings-New York-11 June 2010: Fitch Ratings has assigned an 'A' rating to the $596 million senior secured credit facility issued by various clubs of the National Football League (NFL) through Football Funding LLC. The facility was privately placed. In addition, Fitch has affirmed the following outstanding ratings:
Football Trust
--$2.1 billion senior secured notes at 'A'.

NFL (G-3 Stadium Finance program)
--$1.1 billion senior unsecured notes at 'A+'.

The Rating Outlook is Stable.

Thirteen of the NFL's clubs will participate in the borrowing. The senior secured credit facility will be used by participating NFL clubs to repay existing indebtedness, including the remaining outstanding portion of the bank term loan, for general corporate purposes, and/or to provide working capital. The facility will mature in five years.

The NFL is a not-for-profit unincorporated association of 32 member teams and was originally founded in 1920 with 18 franchises.

For additional information on the underlying credit, see Fitch's press release 'Fitch Rates NFL's Participating Teams $835 million term notes 'A', Outlook Stable' dated April 9, 2010 and 'Fitch Closely Monitoring National Football League Labor Negotiations' dated March 8, 2010.
.

Cliff Lee: "some of the Yankee guys are getting older."

To explain why the Yankees had absolutely no shot at getting Cliff Lee this offseason, Cliff Lee says that the Yanks, despite offering more money, were about third (maybe even fourth) on his list.
.
From Deadspin:
Who finished second to the Phillies in his mind:
"Texas probably finished second to be honest with you. Just as far as the quality of the team and the chance to win a World Series ring, I think they're a better team. That's just my opinion. The Yankees can do anything at any moment to improve and they're not afraid to go do things. That was part of the decision making process too, but I felt like with what the Red Sox had done and it seems like some of the Yankee guys are getting older, but I liked the Rangers."
.
He's still rich beyond his wildest dreams, as will be his grandchildren.

Mar 10, 2011

Hot News Chicks: Ines Rosales.

In what I hope to be a continuing segment here, I found Ines Rosales while surfing around tonight. She's on Fox 5 here in NYC at like 4 am. She's so hot she should be Prime Time.
.
As soon as she came on for a promo for the overnight news, I was like: "Damn, she's hot!"
.
Doesn't Rupert Murdoch run Fox? Isn't he married to some young woman? Why wouldn't he mandate that Mz. Rosales get the 5 pm or 10 pm anchor job?
.
The messed up thing about my argument is that when Ines Rosales tells me the news, I can't concentrate enough to remember...

Mar 9, 2011

Francesa will get to the bottom of this...

Controvercial call in the St. John's/Rutgers game. Someone threw the ball in the stands with time left on the clock. But the game ended with a 65-63 St. John's win.
.
"This is an embarrasment. This is the worst game of [The referee's] career."
.
Mike says he wants the Big East Comish on the phone to explain himself. Bill Simmons is railing Mike on Twitter. The Sports Pope is pissed.

Mar 8, 2011

Hot News Chicks: Liz Cho

Now that I have a TV again, I'd like to start putting up my favorite TV News Chicks. Liz Cho is my Number 1.
.
Here's what Wikipedia says about her:
She grew up in Concord, Massachusetts, the older of two children (she has a younger brother, Andrew). She was born to father Sang Cho, a Korean American surgeon in Boston, and a Jewish American mother, Donna Cho. Her father was born and raised in Korea and later immigrated to the US to practice medicine and her mother was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY.
.
In early 2003, Cho was recognized by People magazine as one of the "50 Most Beautiful People".
.
On May 17, 2007, Cho gave birth to her first child named Louisa Simone Gottlieb in New York City.

Can Tiki unretire his way into the NFL Hall of Fame?

I was kinda late to the Tiki Barber un-retirement news today, so I figured I'd take a different angle.
.
I've loved Tiki on the Giants since his first game in 1997 against Philly. I loved him against the Cowboys in 2000. I loved him against the Redskins in 2006. I'm a fan. I knew when he retired that he was the best RB in Giants history. But he wasn't a Hall-of-Famer.
.
But with Tiki coming back - EVEN FOR TWO SEASONS - he could have better stats than Marshall Faulk, who was voted into the HOF last month.
.
.
I doubt it will ever happen, but consider these facts:
.................Faulk....Barber..Diff...Avg/gm..Avg/gm (2 seasons)
Rush.........12,279..10.449..1,830..101.6....50.8
Receiving.....6,875...5,183..1,692....94.0....47.0
Total yards.19,190..17,359..1,831..101.7...50.8
.
So, assuming the 18 game season (which we all know will happen), Tiki could eclipse Marshall Faulk's stats in every meaningfull category with two seasons as a somewhat productive backup RB, who can average 50.9 total yards per game.
.
All's I know it that it won't be with the NY Giants...

Mar 7, 2011

My office NCAA pool is really named after Charlie Sheen...

The NCAA basketball Tournement is coming up. And I never coordinate these things. But the guy in the office who does just set up our ESPN.com pool.
.
The name is "Tigerblood 2011."
.
And yes, the password is "Charliesheen."
.
Anyone and everyone should feel free to join because that's more money for me to take off of you...
.
This Charlie Sheen character has really put his name out there, huh?
.
That's WINNING!!!

Mar 6, 2011

An arguement for the NFL Players...

Most NFL players have trained to play in the NFL since they were at least 14 years old. That is eight years of training, practice and risk of injury before they even get a job.
.
Football players put themselves at very signigicant risk to major injury for very little in return. Even if they make $300,000 a year on the practice squad for two years, one blown out knee ENDS THEIR CAREER.
.
Most of us, including NFL team Owners, can still work through the most debilitating injury. Dan Snyder has been running the Washington Redskins with obvious severe brain damage for 11 years.
.
These guys have, on average, 3 years to make their money. Then they hope to open a car dealership or a bar. Contracts are NOT guaranteed.
.
Bulging disk in your neck: Fuck you!
.
NFL Owners don't have a product to sell without the players. Say what you'd like about worker's rights, but without the Players, Owners don't have a product to sell.
.
Without a product to sell - and more importantly cash to collect - NFL Owners can't pay their mortgages. Stadium debt service. Some Owners can wait out a small storm, but not a year-long hurricane, especially not in Jacksonville, Buffalo and Minnesota.

An argument for the NFL Owners...

So it seems like The Court of Public Opinion is swinging towards the NFLPA in this labor dispute. The owners are Billionaires. The players have short careers with significant risk of injury.
.
Well, I say, the Boss is the Boss for a reason. The Boss owns something called The Means of Production. My Economics degree taught me that means that without the owners, the players don't have a job.
.
History has proven that professional football leagues not named NFL don't last very long. The USFL had all the money in the world to draft and pay college stars, but it folded.
.
The bottom line is: The NFL Players need the NFL Owners more than the Owners need the Players. Every year, there is a fresh crop of players coming out of college just dying to play for an NFL Owner.
.
Yes, NFL Owners are rich assholes who charge me $7 for a beer that should cost $0.75, and $20,000 for the right to buy $150 a seat tickets. But they sell the crack to which I am addicted. Without the stadiums and TV deals, I'm watching baseball in September. And nobody likes baseball because baseball doesn't have a point spread.
.
The bottom line is that the NFLPA will cave in because Antonio Cromartie has child support payments to make and Woody Johnson gets $0.50 every time you buy baby powder and/or a Band Aid. NFL players are mostly college dropouts who never went to class in the first place.
.
Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Drew Brees can't sway the other 1,997 NFLPA members to think about the "Future of the Game."