At least Sarah Silverman knows that Doc Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD...

In a pretty painful interview Saturday Night during the Yanks/RedSox game, comedian Sarah Silverman turned a question about steroids in baseball into a comment about the benefits of Acid (LSD).
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Yea, Doc Ellis pitched a no-hitter in 1970 while tripping on Acid.
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At least Sarah Silverman had one highlight, because the rest was just unwatchable.
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Saints owner: "Hey, Pope. My ring is cooler than your ring."

Here's New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson pimping his Super Bowl ring to the Pope.
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Via PFT: “I said to him I’d like to show you my ring,” Benson told Bruce Nolan of the New Orleans Times-Picayune, with his wife by his side during the interview. ”I told him what it was, you know? It’s a Super Bowl ring. And he understood that, right, darling?”

No, there is no "N" in "Clam _igger" on Wheel of Fortune

Pat Sajak (with a straight face): "No 'N', hmmm"

Prince William has a wedding registry...?

Here is Prince William (Real Name: William Spencer) and Kate Middleton's Wedding Registry. and THIS...

Now I like to rail on rich people who ask for wedding gifts...But The Prince of England - Second in line to the Throne - SHOULD NOT be asking for a wedding gift from Crate & Barrel.
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Prince William can afford a toilet that gives him a Blow Job...

Hot News Chicks: Kristine Johnson

She is HOT!
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What else do I have to say?
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CBS News at 6:00 p.m.
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Ameture hockey player assaults Ref, gets arrested... Released on $80 bond.

So my buddy DiMo plays in a completely ameture hockey league in Greenwich Conn. He's a 45-year old father of 3 who makes multiple millions of dollars a year and he is by no means a tough guy.
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But he was telling me about his game last night, where THIS happened:
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"After a slashing penalty was called against a hockey player during a game at the rink late last night, referee Peter Tarantino of Cos Cob said he was punched in the face two times by a scrappy Norwalk player. Hockey player Martin Durkaj, 31, of 116 Rowayton Woods Road, Norwalk, was charged with second-degree breach of peace and criminal attempt at third-degree assault."
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The funniest thing, to me at least, was this: "He was released on $80 bond."
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$80 bucks for assault? Jesus, I have at least twice that on me most times. From what he told me the Ref was a good sport about it and even had beers with the winning team after the game to show off his black eye...
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And the worst part of the situation is that my buddy DiMo - a BIG hockey fan - missed this:
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Lupica to take on Francesa in afternoon drive

Everybody's favorite condesending, control freak sports writer will be going head-to-head with everybody's favorite condesending, control freak radio host.
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The NY Daily News announced Tuesday afternoon: "Mike Lupica, award-winning Daily News sports columnist and long-time panelist on ESPN's "Sports Reporters," adds another notch to his media belt next month with a daily sports-talk show on WEPN (1050 AM, ESPN Radio)."
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Lupica will only be going against the Sports Pope for one hour a day, however, from 2-3pm. For those of us old enough to remember, Francesa took over his current time slot from Lupica on WFAN.
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But Damn, ESPN Radio, You now have Mike Golic, Mike Greenberg, Michael Kay and now Mike Lupica, that's a a lot of people named Mike.
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Hot News Chicks: Domenica Davis

Like everybody else, I like to know what the weather will be over the next day or two, especially on the weekend.
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But this is why I ALWAYS tune into NBC here in New York for my weekend weather: Domenica Davis.
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She's just so cute and her personality makes me want to know if there's rain in the forecast.
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I know that TV weather people are just good looking screen prompter readers and wouldn't know a Cumulus from a Cirrus. But what can I say? I enjoy hearing about the weather from Ms. Davis.
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And I do not see a ring on that left ring finger...
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Colin the skateboarding 17-month old.

Here's my buddy Matt's 17-month old kid Colin trying to surf on a skateboard. The kid has pretty good balance. Due to an editing error, the action starts at the 30 second mark.
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surf styles 17 months from m fuller on Vimeo.

Carl Lewis to run for N.J. State Senate...Won't be on American Idol.

Four-time Olympic Gold Medalist Carl Lewis is running for the N.J. State Senate. At least this means the end to his singing career.
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I was actually at this Nets/Bulls game back when I was in High School. Bulls won. Carl Lewis lost. I hope Carl Lewis is a better politician than he is a singer.
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Even Derrick Coleman was laughing at him...You know you're bad when Derrick Coleman is laughing at you.
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Golfers get hot women...

Here's the super-hot wife of golfer Something or other (Mrs. Day). The guy who won the Masters (Charl Schwartzel) has a hot-ass wife too.
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Did I choose the wrong profession? I think I could golf. It doesn't look all that difficult. These dudes aren't scoring these women because they are so handsome.
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This chick doesn't even have a big rock on her finger...So she must really like this golf guy.

R.I.P.: Sidney Lumet

Director Sidney Lumet passed away today. That sucks. I'm a big fan of Dog Day Afternoon and Network.
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But I particulary like Dog Day Afternoon. Al Pacino is a fag? That was a crazy twist to a bank heist movie...
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Mr. Lumet also directed 12 Angry Men and The Verdict. As a former juror, I kind of liked those movies too.
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Please watch the opening of Dog Day Afternoon in Mr. Lumet's honor

Hot News Chicks: Rebecca Jarvis and Taryn Brill.

Catching up on the current events this morning, I was flipping around the TV and found the CBS Early Show and these two hot babes.
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This one is Rebecca Jarvis, the female anchor. She's a total babe. She's well spoken and seems pretty smart.
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Cheryl Crow wrote a cookbook or something and she looks pretty hot too.
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This is Fashion reporter, Taryn Brill. She was talking about women's shoes or some shit like that and I didn't really pay attention.
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But I did hear her report that, on average, women own 17 pairs of shoes at an average cost of $50 per pair. That translates to a total cost of $850 in shoes...Having recently traveled with a woman, I believe this estimate.
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I have one pair of dress shoes and a pair of Timberland boots for a grand total of like $250.
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Follow me on Twitter: @SuperSounds70s

Charlie Sheen: "My balls are sweating like a gerbil in a Richard Gere convention."

So...Charlie Sheen was booed off the stage at Radio City Music Hall last night. But he did have at least one funny line.
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Talking about almost being caught snorting cocaine in an airplane bathroom, he said: "My balls are sweating like a gerbil in a Richard Gere convention."
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Sadly, I can't really relate. As a 6 foot 4 inch 200 pound dude, I can barely fit in an airplane bathroom, let alone do drugs in one.
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But he apparently bombed and was subsequently booed off the stage after 45 minutes of a 90 minute show.
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According to the NY Post, Mr. Sheen "whined profusely about the night he wrecked The Plaza suite, saying he just wanted to retrieve his wallet and "$173,000 watch" from a chick hiding in the bathroom, whom he'd already tipped $30,000."
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I hate it when that happens to me...

Manny Ramirez just done up and quit...

As of 10:02 PM ET, ESPN reports That Manny Ramirez is hanging up his cleats. Six games into the season...Because he tested positive for steroids during Spring Training.
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Manny couldn't field his way out of a paper bag. Manny couldn't steal a base if you slipped it in his pocket. But Manny could hit .350...With flair.
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Love him or hate ManRam, the Dude could hit. But he got busted doing steroids - TWICE - so that hurts his legacy. He has always been a total fucking Wack Job too.
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We all know Manny's a little strange, but he did do this:
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What NFL owners REALLY want to tell the Players...

The NFL just put out this statement. Here's the translation into what the Owners are really telling the Players:
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NFL statement on letter to players’ attorneys:
“Our letter to the players’ attorneys today proposes negotiations with owner involvement under the supervision of Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service Director George Cohen. A copy has been sent to Judge Nelson. The goal of the discussions would be to resolve all outstanding issues and achieve a global resolution. As part of our proposal, we offered to give the players assurances that they will not compromise any legal position as a result of the discussions.”
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What the NFL REALLY means:
"We told you what we want and aren't going to move on our position. We want a new Federal Mediator because Judge Nelson is a left wing Pinko Communist who doesn't favor our position and we believe that Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service Director George Cohen will be sympathetic to our cause. We are seeking a global resolution that suits our profit margins. We will fuck you in the ass the second you drop the soap in the shower."

KBilly is back from Vegas...

I've been out of touch lately...Because I went to Las Vegas for the Final 4! Had a blast. Ate some good food. Saw some good shows (Cirque du Soleil Beatles "Love" is highly recommended) and, of course, gambled away my rent money.
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Saturday went well, with Butler -3 and Kentucky +4/Under 159 tease bets.
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And I had the Nuggets, Knicks and Heat on Sunday afternoon. Plus I did well at the roulette wheel.
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Add in a couple good meals and the sights, and it was a great long weekend in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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But then Monday happened. I liked Butler, because they have a supercute bulldog mascott that likes to hump basketballs and how can't you love that?
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Didn't work out though because neither team could hit a shot...That game went like five minutes without a score to close the first half.
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At least Coors Light sent over a couple friendly girls to console the losers.
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Let's look at some NCAA cheerleaders...

Ahh, college. I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
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So watching all this college basketball makes me nostalgic...For 19 year old college girls.
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And yes, they were out of my league.
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University of Florida~~~>
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<~~~ Kansas University .

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UNC-Chappell Hill~~~>
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And whatever this is:

LT: "I didn't pick her up at no playground."

After his sentencing Tuesday, Lawrence Taylor was interviewed on Fox News last night. Its pretty sad actually. But, he's a grown man and he should know that when it rains, you're going to get wet, unless you are playing with fire, in which case you get burned...Or something like that.
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Video via ESPN.com:
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Mike Tyson is now a Police Officer...

Of course a convicted rapist and drug user who bit Evander Holyfield's ears off is a Police Officer...
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But Mike Tyson just posted this picture on Twitter with the following message: "Mike Tyson: I just joined law enforcement #100factsaboutme"
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UmmmmKay...
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I was a big Mike Tyson fan growing up. I think he was one hell of a boxer. I think he went completely BATSHIT NUTS for a while. But now he seems like a cool, calm, reflective guy who can even make fun of himself (See The Hangover).
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Mr. Tyson, if you are reading this, please don't beat the shit out of me like you did to Michael Spinks back in 1988. You can keep your pigeons in my place.
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