Could Carmelo Anthony even find New Jersey on a map?

This isn't meant as a slight to Carmelo Anthony and his one year of a Syracuse education. In fact, I'd bet that most Americans who don't live there can't pinpoint New Jersey on a map (hint: it looks like your mailman).
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If Carmelo Anthony doesn't want to play in New Jersey and prefers to play at Madison Square Garden, as a Knicks fan I say God Bless him.
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But where the fuck does he think he's going to live if he ends up with either the Knicks of the Nets? New Jersey. Carmelo Anthony isn't going to live in a housing project in Bed Stuy. He isn't going to live in a rent controlled walkup building on 72nd and Lex.
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Dude is going to live in a 10 bedroom mansion in Upper Saddle River or Alpine New Jersey, regardless of what team he ends up on. Maybe he gets a house in Greenwich Conn, or Westchester, N.Y. But if he wants a back yard with a pool, 10 bedrooms, a movie theatre and a 6 car garage, he's going to live in the suburbs.
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He'll probably live across the street from CC Sabathia.
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